Monday, October 28, 2013

Goodbye Girl

This time last year I was celebrating my "quarter-of-a-century" birthday, and ruminating over whether or not 25 was the 'perfect' age (hint: there's no such thing).

While I certainly can't say 25 is the perfect age, I can say that it was a year of many changes including loss of friendships (heartbreaking, but ultimately necessary), death in the family (just plain heartbreaking) and a complete reconstruction to the path my life was taking.

I spent the last 2 years 6 years of my life investing in my "plan B" for no other reason than fear. Fear that people wouldn't take me seriously, or think I was 'smart" if I didn't have a piece of paper to prove it. Fear that my dreams were only just that, and that I was naive to believe in something. Fear that I didn't have it in me to do the hard work necessary. Fear that I would lose my love, or my home - my things. I thought blazers, pencil skirts and peplum dresses in neutral colours, paired with sensible flats and my very own cubicle would protect me (HA!).

I was very sneaky about it though. I didn't tell myself I was afraid. Instead I fed myself plausible excuses - I was setting myself up to be a writer in the future (I wasn't even acknowledging the actress in me at this point as I was still telling myself I was "done" with that phase of my life), with a good job now, with a nice salary that would fund my writing. But I forgot one little detail - toiling away for years and years in a windowless office, working more for less pay, making just enough to survive is not a way to fund your dreams.

I won't ever profess to know what the meaning of life is, or why we're here - but I do believe that what I've described above is not it. A tarot card reader once told me I was "coping with life" rather than living it and she was right. It's what I've been doing, but the difference now is I'm finally saying FUCK THAT!! I can live a life I love - LIVING. Not just surviving for the (slim) possibility of a few years rest at the end.

{I don't want to rest - I want to be making art until the day I die and I want to have a damn great time doing it!}

I have a good life right now - that I can't deny. I have more than most people, and so much to be grateful for. But why should I settle for a good life when I have the power to choose to make it a GREAT one?

One of the biggest lessons I'm only starting to scratch the surface of is learning to let go of the person I thought I was (or wanted to be) and begin to embrace who I actually am. This is hard work. No one said it would be easy.

This is my last post.
You can find me here - my new home is a work in progress, but it will evolve with love.

xo C

{Images via pinterest}

Thursday, August 1, 2013

I'm Moving!

I last mentioned that there would be some changes to my blog here. Those changes are still in development, but I want to give you the heads up that I will be moving over to Wordpress with my very own website soon!! 

{image via pinterest}

Monday, July 1, 2013

Unexpected Blessings + Going Dark

Alright ... I'm about to do a complete 180 from this post, where I "whined" about no one joining my Circle of Fire Book Club (thanks David ;p) because I'm going to admit here and now, that this has turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

You know how you can plug away each day at something, a little bit here, a little bit there, and then suddenly one day it seems like everything is happening all at once, and it's moving incredibly fast and you barely have time to tuck your arms in for the ride? Yeah, that's kinda the place I'm at right now!!

I know that sounds very vague, and I wish I could say more, but what I can say is that I have some incredibly exciting projects happening right now and they need 100% of my focus (one of which is my WIP, another I hinted at here). Hence, why I now think it's a blessing that I won't be backing out of something that others were committed to as well, because life is about to get insane, in the best way possible. Funny how the universe works like that :)

After reading Linda Sivertsen's blog post, Goin' Dark to Tap the Light , I was inspired to do the same in order to give myself the focus I need. In fact, I just read it again right now to give me the little push I need to go through with this blog post. See, I made a commitment to go through with the FSS's, with deadlines and everything, and I even have Danielle's quote "Do what you say you're going to do" taped to my computer (I admit, this is a struggle for a recovering 'yes' girl + scaredy-cat), so I was feeling the guilt of not keeping my word (even if it was only to myself). That is, until I realized that I was being completely ridiculous, because the entire goal of the FSS's is to figure out what lights your fire and then do it - and I'm doing it RIGHT NOW!! 

In her post, Linda asks, "How are you showing up for yourself and your art this summer?"

So I'm doing my own version of "going dark" so that I can focus on the work. You'll still see me on Twitter, and I'll pop by the blog every now to say hi, but from this moment on, if it's not related to the aforementioned projects (SO exciting, did I mention that???) it ain't happening.

I apologize in advance to all the people in my life (friends, family, co-workers) who are about to see a whole lot less of me - or you're welcome, whatever floats your boat!!

Monday, June 17, 2013

Quote of the Day

Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it's just not that good. It's trying to be good, it has potential, but it's not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit.
- Ira Glass

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Happy Tuesday + Book Winner

{visual inspiration: the lab magazine & Disfunkshion}

I meant to post this yesterday, but life got in the way and here we are! I hope you all are refreshed after the weekend. It's been raining for what feels like forever (really, just a few weeks) but Sunday we finally had some sun and if I hadn't been so busy writing I could have spent the entire day lying in the grass with a blanket and a book. I did manage to go for a nice long walk, however.

Friday, was date night at this place called the Horn of Africa where we ate the most delicious Ethiopian food, moving on to my favourite lounge, Social, for drinks and dessert. Then coffee with a new acquaintance on Saturday, followed by writing (and a bit of wine), and Sunday was more writing, getting back in touch with an amazing teacher of mine, and preparing thai coconut cilantro chicken with the sun shining through my window. All in all, a great weekend!

Now it's back to rain and mugginess.

On that note, the winner of J'adore Paris is Pearly T... congrats!! Please e-mail me at emond (dot) c (at) gmail (dot) com with your contact details so I can get the book to you, and thank you so much for checking out my blog!

I'm going get real with you - I was disappointed at the lack of entries, despite my promotion of the contest on social media, but I sometimes have to remind myself that I'm just starting out and that most of what I put out into the world at this point is not much different from when I talk to myself. (or my food, if you listen to my sister-in-law). A friend of mine recently started a blog, and after 2 or 3 posts she said to me, "No one's commenting, and I don't have any followers yet," and I LOL'd pretty hard, I admit. So I gave the best advice I could think of - be patient! I've been working on this blog for a couple of years now, admittedly on and off, and it seems I still need to take my own advice :)

So in the name of patience, and counting my blessings, I want to say that I'm grateful for those who have taken the time to read these thoughts of mine {3,000ish of you - woohoo - and 9 followers, one of which is accidentally myself, hehe) and I'm going to work on being more patient in my life. As Jon Acuff said, "don't compare your beginning to someone else's middle"

Enjoy the rest of your week!

PS the two magazines in the photo above have been so visually inspiring for me while I work on my WIP, and it feels like the vision I have for this book is finally starting to take shape ...

Friday, June 7, 2013

♥ Friday Links

This past week brought cold, rainy days, but I'm dreaming of summer and hard at work on my WIP. Here are a few links and I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

This poem by Melissa Mann
Inspiration on following your dreams here
Great Literature or Gibberish? You decide!
♥ Pretty sure I posted this before, but it warrants a repost!
♥ How to get your spark back when you're burned out. Love this!
♥ Info-graphic on publishing paths at Jane Friedman's blog
Advice for writers on how to de-clutter the mind to be more productive